i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
