All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
