I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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