I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
