If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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