i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
