She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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