Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
