Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
