Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
