I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
