no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
