At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
God I need to hump something, right now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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