I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
