The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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