Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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