eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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