i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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