cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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