I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm having to shit out rocks
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
