dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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