Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
