you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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