it's like her boobs came off with her bra
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize