I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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