i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
