playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
