how hairy? two words: wookie tits
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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