Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize