Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
