She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
