white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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