Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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