PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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