Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
