he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize