I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
