So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
