He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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