I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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