the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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