I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
