Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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