I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
