I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
