it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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