i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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