I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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