I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
More tranny stories later!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
