So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
