Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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