Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
