This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
