Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
is that a dick in a sweater?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
