im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
