I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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