At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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