Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
