Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
