You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
