Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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