Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
