I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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