Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
