Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
