She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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