He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
